Low Tank Warning
Today I learned two things. You know how most new cars have a low fuel tank warning? I’ve learned that when my head is running low on amphetimines my ears start ringing. Not the usual hiss I’ve been noticing for many months (years?) now, but rather a distinctly loud high-pitch ring. If I just let it go it seems to degrade after an hour or two, or until I pop another gack.
The other discovery was that I could code like a speed fiend. I finally got to my computer at around 2pm this afternoon. Having taken a full pill early this morning, my ears had started ringing. I popped a half tab and within a half hour I was focused and eyeball-deep into a programming project I’ve had on deck for months.
Four hours later and I was still going strong. I could divide and conquer without getting stressed out. Even if I found myself in an algorithmic cul-de-sac, I could simply negotiate the re-direct and continue making progress. It’s about 8:30 now and the Mars Volta seems to resonate well with the piercing wail between my ears. Time to land for the evening.
When all the worms come
Crawlin out of your head
Telling you
Don’t you be afraid
In: Depression · Tagged with: Adderall, bi-polar, Depression, focus