The DOWn Mood
It seems like my mood has been following the stock market lately. Not really correlative, but resembling the wild swings.
The week started normal enough. Of course, a weekend too short followed by a week that seemed to drag on forever. I take an Adderall XR first thing in the morning and have pretty good cognition all day long. However, I seemed to have a couple days in the trough this week. Partially due (I’m sure) to a couple of programming challenges I was faced with along with a couple high stress days dealing with the mental whiplash of a basket full of unrelated, yet high priority tasks.
By Friday afternoon my plate was cleared again. As usually happens, I beat my head against the monitor for a couple days questionning my ability to do anything right. Then a miracle happens and I have a day of mental flow where everything seems to work as expected. That was yesterday.
Here’s a weird observance though. I forgot to take my meds on Thursday night. I can’t say Friday morning was any easier to get started with than any other day, but by mid morning my mood was lifting a bit. I’m sure some of that elevation was due to finally breaking through on some of my programming challenges, but I also noticed the joy lobe filling with anticipation and hope later in the day. TGIF perhaps?
Symbyax/Deplin for mood and Adderall for clarity. I have to give high marks for the Adderall, but not so much on the expensive stuff (Sym/Dep.) Even though my mood tanked this week, I have to admit that I was still able to focus and concentrate on tasks. I just hated my job during that time. Then again, I can’t say I’ve ever loved programming. It’s something I learned how to do a long time ago, and there has always seemed to be a job market for it. I’ve heard it said that when you do something you love, you never work a day in your life. Well, I’ve worked most every day in my adult life.
I’m hopeful this weekend. I’ll recharge the batteries, take it easy, and then slam into the next work week to see what happens.
In: Depression · Tagged with: Adderall, bi-polar, Depression, stress, Symbyax