Pharmaceutical Smorgasbord

So far in my 15 years of mental health treatment, only my GP has offered any medical solutions. With the exception of my single visit with Dr. Noodle and her benign dosage of Wellbutrin.

Anyway, I’ve been meaning to provide a review of the medications I’ve experienced over the years, so here it is. Enjoy!

Prozac

This was my foray into the world of depression treatment. My good doc started me on a dosage of 20mg. I was in my early 30’s at the time and still had lots of optimism. In other words, there were many things I liked to do when I was feeling ‘up’ and the Prozac seemed to give me more of those opportunities. I didn’t notice any side effects, and although I did have a few down times, they weren’t as severe. Mrs. Bloom has always been the witness, and she noticed a difference during that time.

I continued using the small dose for about 6-7 years. I had enough hope and energy to attempt my dream of starting my own business, so I quit my job and started down the path of the American Dream (tm.) During that two years of my business venture, many new stressors were introduced and my Prozac didn’t seem to be working anymore.

Re-visiting the Dr., I assumed he might up my dosage. More is better, right? Instead he suggested weaning off the ‘zac and trying some new meds that were more effective.

Zyprexa

Woah! Talk about your anti-dietary. It had immediate affect as opposed to the Prozac that took about three weeks to absorb. After two days of the Zyp, my stomach went numb and I started eating everything in sight. In a week I gained 10 pounds and could not sate my appetite. Strangely enough, the doc also gave me Lipitor to try and bring my cholesteral down. Within a week I came down with Shingles so he took me off the Zyp and Lip and put me on some Herpe medicine until the Shingles cleared. I never went back on Lipitor or Zyprexa.

Lithium

This was the spaciest drug I’ve ever been on. It’s one that requires close physician surveillance, which proved a challenge with a doctor that had 2,000 patients. (appointments were often a month out.)

I don’t remember the dosage, but he started me out cautiously. I remember not noticing anything different other than I didn’t get excited about anything anymore, but the depression was still there. Doc up’d my dosage and took more blood work. Apparently there’s a sweet spot with Lithium, not enough has no effect, and slightly too much eats your liver.

The dosage finally kicked in. My most vivid memory was being on the lake and watching the light glint off the rippling afternoon water. It was like I was viewing the world through a fisheye lens and Pink Floyd was looping through the back of my mind continuously. As best as I can describe it, was induced melancholia. I can understand why it might work for manic psychosis or calming the mind of a schizophreniac, but it didn’t feel like the solution for a bi-polar victim like myself. Bi-polar, that is, heavy on the down side of the ‘polar.’

Effexor (and Risperdal)

After detoxing from the Lithium, the doc put me on Effexor. Also known in the medical community as side-Effexor.

I have to admit, after the Zyp and Lithium, I think I was just happy that something wasn’t causing me violent physiological responses. It made me sleep more, and deeper. But I always enjoyed being unconscious so I considered it a plus. The other side effect was loss of sexual appetite, but that’s another installment entirely.

After about 3 years on Effexor, I started to go downhill. I couldn’t get enough sleep and my depressive moods were continual. I was also gaining weight and had no ambition.

Instead of taking me off the Effexor, the doc added Risperdal. He claimed it was what anti-virus software was to Microsoft Windows. A necessary evil for a poorly design product.

After a month of this medley I was getting no respite. I didn’t notice anything with the added chemical so the doctor said he was at the end of his rope and suggested I see a shrink. We really hadn’t exhausted avenues, but just those within my budget. Effexor was about four dollars per daily dosage that insurance wouldn’t cover, and everything else was too pricey without the help of insurance.

(The Effexor detox experience deserves it’s own entry, so watch for it in the future)

Wellbutrin

You can read about my experience with Dr. Noodle somewhere in the archives. She gave me a prescription for 100mg. of Wellbutrin, which I later discovered was a placebo dosage. I would do better with the sugar from a bowl of Lucky Charms every morning. I humored her, but in a month of taking the stuff I noticed absolutely nothing different.

That was about five years ago, and the last time I took mental medication.

My wife found me in the garden. Despondent, and threatening to kill myself with a rake. We had a good talk and like many depressive episodes, I don’t remember much. However, we determined to attempt our own prescription from the healthfood and holistic pill store. She bought all the natural remedies she could find and I started eating a plate full of vitamins with every dinner. St. Johns Wort, Ginkgo Biloba, 5-HTC, garlic, B-complex, daily do-all, vitamins D and C, and whatever happens to be on sale at the Walgreens vitamin counter.

I can’t say our holistic approach has done much for my depression over the past half-decade, but I’ve been physically healthier than I’ve ever been! I used to catch every cold and flu that came through the city, but I haven’t been down with any of those illnesses in years. So, I continue my vitamin regimen if for nothing more than to keep the sniffles at bay.

The other aspect of my life that has been different since I dropped the meds is that I’ve been entirely self-employed during this time. What that meant is that I could make my own hours, and if there were days that I was comatose in depression, I could just stay face down in a pillow. Unfortunately, you need a lot of motivation to maintain the self-employment, and my work that required on-going ambition was severely diminished. We were headed for the economic crapper if I didn’t bring the household income up.

Consequently, I took full time employment last April. I feared what would happen, and sure enough it did. About five months into the gig, I fell hard. To maintain the employment, I’ll need some chemical assistance.

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